Blog Day 26
Compare what you used to want with what you want presently.
Ever since I was a little girl, I wanted nothing more than to be a wife, mother and homebody. Back in my day, that's what I was "urged" to do. My grandmother taught me how to sew (I made my first full dress when I was 10) and bake bread (yum). She also taught me a lot about being domesticated. I also was raised by a father that thought women should stay home and not work (go figure). My sister got to do all that, so I kind of wanted to be like her. After I got older, I discovered Martha Stewart!
I watched Martha religiously every day, loving her homey ideas, yummy recipes, her take on home life. I bought anything I could afford that she was selling. I was so inspired by her. I started collecting linens, dishes, planting pots, making some of the crafts that she made, collecting all the things that a wife should have to entertain and have a family. I never could afford the "expensive" stuff, so I made do with "nice looking" stuff. It always was nice and got me what I wanted. I collected, and collected, and collected over the years. I hid everything away thinking that I would actually get to use it some day. I did once in awhile if I had a dinner party, but being single, those didn't happen very often. I never did get married and have the kind of home life that I wanted to back in those days.
As I got older and realized once and for all that this enchanted life I'd dreamed of all my life wasn't going to come true, I started getting rid of all that I had collected. Most of the linens, the 5 sets of dishes that I never used, the beautiful platters, bowls, teapots, vases, etc. It wasn't until I was in my later 50's that I started getting rid of all these things, and I'm glad I did.
I've moved a couple of times since then, and now that I am older I like less clutter. I've kept some of the linens to decorate now and then, only have 1 set of dishes (but they are the good dishes I saved all those years and didn't want to use because I thought they might get broken, and decided to use them every day instead of letting them collect dust), only a couple of teapots (I used to have quite a collection), and very little stemware. I have kept the dishes that were my parents, but they do just sit there and collect dust. I've realized that I don't like to pack it, move it, clean it, use it...I'm just over it all. I want to simplify my life as I age, and not worry about"all that stuff". I also don't want my daughter to have to deal with it all after I'm gone.
So that was the before, and now, and I'm much happier and less "handicapped" now.
Tuesday, September 26, 2017
Friday, September 22, 2017
Blog Day 22
Share something seasonal.
Well, today at 1 p.m. will be the autumnal equinox, the passing of summer into fall. All I have to say is Hip Hip Hooray! About the only thing I love about summer is having the sun out and about. The heat I can do without. I am not worth much when it is hot, and this summer has been especially hot in the north bay area. Here in Ukiah we had many (too) days over 100 degrees, and many (way too) days with the a/c blasting full bore. Finally fall has arrived.
My favorite time of the year. It's time to start burning candles, hunkering down and making soups and stews, buying pumpkins. Time for applesauce, caramels, pumpkin butter, pumpkin coffee, pumpkin everything. I love this time of year. It's cooler, a little overcast most days, almost time for sweaters and slippers. The only thing I don't like about it is the changing of the clock and the fact that it gets darker earlier now. It's already begun, you can tell the days are getting shorter as it's getting darker too soon already. When it is dark outside, it feels like it's time to go to bed, and it's only 8 p.m. It really does a thing on the psyche.
I love the fall because of Halloween, and then Thanksgiving, and then Christmas. I love the holidays and the time with family. Halloween is a time for decorating the house and the porch, carving pumpkins, making pumpkin pies and yummy smelling breads. I love, love, love the fall colors, oranges, yellows, reds and browns. Leaves to walk in and jump in, squirrels gathering nuts. Babies dressed up in pumpkin costumes, children going from house to house saying "Trick or Treat". To me, fall is my time of renewal, like New Year's Day. Time to reflect on the past months, time to hunker down and "gather" for the fall/winter. Time to make the home feel cozy and warm, have friends over to spend time with, start thinking about the holidays.
I love the fall time, and I'm so happy that it is here.
Share something seasonal.
Well, today at 1 p.m. will be the autumnal equinox, the passing of summer into fall. All I have to say is Hip Hip Hooray! About the only thing I love about summer is having the sun out and about. The heat I can do without. I am not worth much when it is hot, and this summer has been especially hot in the north bay area. Here in Ukiah we had many (too) days over 100 degrees, and many (way too) days with the a/c blasting full bore. Finally fall has arrived.
My favorite time of the year. It's time to start burning candles, hunkering down and making soups and stews, buying pumpkins. Time for applesauce, caramels, pumpkin butter, pumpkin coffee, pumpkin everything. I love this time of year. It's cooler, a little overcast most days, almost time for sweaters and slippers. The only thing I don't like about it is the changing of the clock and the fact that it gets darker earlier now. It's already begun, you can tell the days are getting shorter as it's getting darker too soon already. When it is dark outside, it feels like it's time to go to bed, and it's only 8 p.m. It really does a thing on the psyche.
I love the fall because of Halloween, and then Thanksgiving, and then Christmas. I love the holidays and the time with family. Halloween is a time for decorating the house and the porch, carving pumpkins, making pumpkin pies and yummy smelling breads. I love, love, love the fall colors, oranges, yellows, reds and browns. Leaves to walk in and jump in, squirrels gathering nuts. Babies dressed up in pumpkin costumes, children going from house to house saying "Trick or Treat". To me, fall is my time of renewal, like New Year's Day. Time to reflect on the past months, time to hunker down and "gather" for the fall/winter. Time to make the home feel cozy and warm, have friends over to spend time with, start thinking about the holidays.
I love the fall time, and I'm so happy that it is here.
Friday, September 15, 2017
Thursday, September 14, 2017
Blog Day 14
Share something that isn't widely known about you.
I almost died after giving birth to my daughter...It was 1989, back in Charleston, SC that we were living. I went into labor at 4 a.m. and my daughter was born exactly at noon. I had planned on having her naturally, but by 11 a.m. they broke my water at the hospital and found there was baby's stool in the water and her heartbeat was not healthy, so they decided to do a C-section. When I woke up from the anesthesia, they told me I had a girl, and I was ecstatic, and it was Thursday, February 16, 1989. I fed the baby regularly, had visitors, and proceeded to get to know my little baby girl. All was good...they removed half of my staples and sent me home on Monday and wanted me to come back Wednesday to remove the rest of the staples.
At home life was obviously different with a new baby...how often does she need to eat, how often does she need a change of her diaper, three months to get to know each other. I believe it was on Tuesday I started feeling something...whenever it was time to feed the baby and I had to sit up to do so, something didn't feel right. It felt like I had diaper rash, a burning sensation down below. My husband thought I was just being lazy and didn't want to feed the baby (men!). On Wednesday we went to the doctor to have the other staples removed. The doctor said my stomach was a little firm, but wasn't concerned. We went home and proceeded to live our lives.
On Thursday morning I got up and took my shower. I noticed a bruise on my stomach, maybe about the size of my little fingernail. Called in my husband and he insisted I call the doctor. So I did. My doctor was on vacation, so I talked to his partner. He said based on where I told him it was located, the size, etc. that it was just a bruise from the surgery, and should it change in shape, color or size to give him a call. End of phone call. So the next morning, Friday, I get up and take my shower, and look at my stomach, and lo and behold, the bruise is as large as my fist. Panic. We call the doctor again, and he says to meet him in his office in 30 minutes. We got dressed and headed for the doctor's office. He took us into the examination room, laid me on the table and took a 6" Q-tip, stuck it down in my incision, and pulled it out. It was completely black. He said, "we are going to surgery NOW". Appears I had gangrene. Before I went into surgery I asked him point blank, "What's going to happen to me?" and he said "You are either going to live, or there's a possibility you are going to die. Surgery is never a guarantee." I was petrified of dying.
I believe the surgery took 3-4 hours, I can't remember that far back, and when I woke up I was so groggy. They kept me well sedated for about 4 days, and in Intensive Care. What they did was to leave my stomach open for 10 days so that I could heal from the inside out. The gangrene did not hit the fascia wall, so the doctor said I was lucky. Every 8 hours they would come in, give me a shot of pain medicine, and literally hold me down while the doctor unpacked the cheesecloth with the dead cells, and repack my stomach (deriding). The medicine they gave me was not enough to kill the pain, so after they did this procedure, they gave me another shot of medicine. You cannot believe how painful that was, and it happened every 8 hours for 4 days. Towards the last day, the doctor came in and said I was doing very well, the stomach looked so healthy and would I like to see it...I said "Hell, no". I was too scared.
As I said, they left my stomach open for 10 days, then I had another surgery to close me up. I was in the hospital for a total of 10 days, and during that time I was away from my baby. I cried myself to sleep every night, I missed her so much. I couldn't see her while I was in ICU, but after they put me into a room by myself, Charles and the baby came to spend the night. I was in a fit whenever she wasn't with me, and when I couldn't reach Charles I got even more worried. Charles was a full blown alcoholic and he would take the baby to the bar with him, or in the car driving drunk. I didn't know that at the time, but my mind went everywhere wondering where they were. He also didn't bring her to the hospital when I asked...he brought her in his own good time, and that made me very sad. I missed her terribly.
I finally got out of the hospital after 2 weeks, and we went home. I asked Charles a couple days before being released to make sure the house was clean so I wouldn't have to worry about it...he said no problem. I was released on a Saturday, and on the way home we got stopped by the police for a burned out tail light. Of course Charles didn't have a license (he was driving), so he got arrested, and I had to follow him to the jail and bail him out. The doctor had told me I shouldn't drive for 6 weeks, hahaha. Then when we finally got home, I got a look at the house. Dirty dishes everywhere, dirty diapers everywhere, dirty sheets on the bed. He didn't clean the house at all, and as a result of my surgery, it took me 2 weeks to get everything cleaned and picked up.
It took me a year and a half before I quit having nightmares. Of course after the first week, I didn't get to breast feed my baby because of the medicines they had me on. And because I was in the hospital for 2 weeks, that interrupted my maternity leave by 2 weeks, and that went by so fast. I have the most horrific scar from the surgery, and the worst part about the whole thing was that I couldn't get a lawyer to take my case. When I asked the doctor numerous times what caused the gangrene, he said "sometimes it's just in your body, and comes out when it wants"...how ludicrous was that answer.
He was the partner of the doctor that did the surgery...the doctor that did the surgery never came by to see me, by the way.
Anyway, I'm blessed to be alive 28 years later, with a beautiful daughter, and 2 beautiful granddaughters. Every time I think of that time, I know I am so lucky to be alive, and grateful to God.
Share something that isn't widely known about you.
I almost died after giving birth to my daughter...It was 1989, back in Charleston, SC that we were living. I went into labor at 4 a.m. and my daughter was born exactly at noon. I had planned on having her naturally, but by 11 a.m. they broke my water at the hospital and found there was baby's stool in the water and her heartbeat was not healthy, so they decided to do a C-section. When I woke up from the anesthesia, they told me I had a girl, and I was ecstatic, and it was Thursday, February 16, 1989. I fed the baby regularly, had visitors, and proceeded to get to know my little baby girl. All was good...they removed half of my staples and sent me home on Monday and wanted me to come back Wednesday to remove the rest of the staples.
At home life was obviously different with a new baby...how often does she need to eat, how often does she need a change of her diaper, three months to get to know each other. I believe it was on Tuesday I started feeling something...whenever it was time to feed the baby and I had to sit up to do so, something didn't feel right. It felt like I had diaper rash, a burning sensation down below. My husband thought I was just being lazy and didn't want to feed the baby (men!). On Wednesday we went to the doctor to have the other staples removed. The doctor said my stomach was a little firm, but wasn't concerned. We went home and proceeded to live our lives.
On Thursday morning I got up and took my shower. I noticed a bruise on my stomach, maybe about the size of my little fingernail. Called in my husband and he insisted I call the doctor. So I did. My doctor was on vacation, so I talked to his partner. He said based on where I told him it was located, the size, etc. that it was just a bruise from the surgery, and should it change in shape, color or size to give him a call. End of phone call. So the next morning, Friday, I get up and take my shower, and look at my stomach, and lo and behold, the bruise is as large as my fist. Panic. We call the doctor again, and he says to meet him in his office in 30 minutes. We got dressed and headed for the doctor's office. He took us into the examination room, laid me on the table and took a 6" Q-tip, stuck it down in my incision, and pulled it out. It was completely black. He said, "we are going to surgery NOW". Appears I had gangrene. Before I went into surgery I asked him point blank, "What's going to happen to me?" and he said "You are either going to live, or there's a possibility you are going to die. Surgery is never a guarantee." I was petrified of dying.
I believe the surgery took 3-4 hours, I can't remember that far back, and when I woke up I was so groggy. They kept me well sedated for about 4 days, and in Intensive Care. What they did was to leave my stomach open for 10 days so that I could heal from the inside out. The gangrene did not hit the fascia wall, so the doctor said I was lucky. Every 8 hours they would come in, give me a shot of pain medicine, and literally hold me down while the doctor unpacked the cheesecloth with the dead cells, and repack my stomach (deriding). The medicine they gave me was not enough to kill the pain, so after they did this procedure, they gave me another shot of medicine. You cannot believe how painful that was, and it happened every 8 hours for 4 days. Towards the last day, the doctor came in and said I was doing very well, the stomach looked so healthy and would I like to see it...I said "Hell, no". I was too scared.
As I said, they left my stomach open for 10 days, then I had another surgery to close me up. I was in the hospital for a total of 10 days, and during that time I was away from my baby. I cried myself to sleep every night, I missed her so much. I couldn't see her while I was in ICU, but after they put me into a room by myself, Charles and the baby came to spend the night. I was in a fit whenever she wasn't with me, and when I couldn't reach Charles I got even more worried. Charles was a full blown alcoholic and he would take the baby to the bar with him, or in the car driving drunk. I didn't know that at the time, but my mind went everywhere wondering where they were. He also didn't bring her to the hospital when I asked...he brought her in his own good time, and that made me very sad. I missed her terribly.
I finally got out of the hospital after 2 weeks, and we went home. I asked Charles a couple days before being released to make sure the house was clean so I wouldn't have to worry about it...he said no problem. I was released on a Saturday, and on the way home we got stopped by the police for a burned out tail light. Of course Charles didn't have a license (he was driving), so he got arrested, and I had to follow him to the jail and bail him out. The doctor had told me I shouldn't drive for 6 weeks, hahaha. Then when we finally got home, I got a look at the house. Dirty dishes everywhere, dirty diapers everywhere, dirty sheets on the bed. He didn't clean the house at all, and as a result of my surgery, it took me 2 weeks to get everything cleaned and picked up.
It took me a year and a half before I quit having nightmares. Of course after the first week, I didn't get to breast feed my baby because of the medicines they had me on. And because I was in the hospital for 2 weeks, that interrupted my maternity leave by 2 weeks, and that went by so fast. I have the most horrific scar from the surgery, and the worst part about the whole thing was that I couldn't get a lawyer to take my case. When I asked the doctor numerous times what caused the gangrene, he said "sometimes it's just in your body, and comes out when it wants"...how ludicrous was that answer.
He was the partner of the doctor that did the surgery...the doctor that did the surgery never came by to see me, by the way.
Anyway, I'm blessed to be alive 28 years later, with a beautiful daughter, and 2 beautiful granddaughters. Every time I think of that time, I know I am so lucky to be alive, and grateful to God.
Wednesday, September 13, 2017
Blog Day 13
Reminisce
I do that all the time...I remember. I did that last night when I went to bed, I remembered. I do that most nights when I go to bed. It's a time when I can just think about past memories, good and bad, and relive them. I reminisce all the time, I think many people do. You think of a time that was good in your life, when things were so carefree, you were happy-go-lucky. Life was wonderful you felt good and happy, you savored moments that you would store away, to sit there and wait until you were ready to draw it out again and go back and relive that memory.
There are memories involving past lovers, memories involving family, memories involving places, certain books, a good movie...all those memories have pictures that I take out and look at from my mind. They take me back, and I remember. There is a certain song that comes on once in awhile, and it takes me back to my days living in San Francisco, carefree times. Times when money was short, but there was always food when friends came over from college to eat. We all pitched in and brought something...ate, laughed, cried, made memories, good memories. I think most people have those memories...they are good, they are necessary for sanity, they bring me to a happy place.
Keep reminiscing.
Reminisce
I do that all the time...I remember. I did that last night when I went to bed, I remembered. I do that most nights when I go to bed. It's a time when I can just think about past memories, good and bad, and relive them. I reminisce all the time, I think many people do. You think of a time that was good in your life, when things were so carefree, you were happy-go-lucky. Life was wonderful you felt good and happy, you savored moments that you would store away, to sit there and wait until you were ready to draw it out again and go back and relive that memory.
There are memories involving past lovers, memories involving family, memories involving places, certain books, a good movie...all those memories have pictures that I take out and look at from my mind. They take me back, and I remember. There is a certain song that comes on once in awhile, and it takes me back to my days living in San Francisco, carefree times. Times when money was short, but there was always food when friends came over from college to eat. We all pitched in and brought something...ate, laughed, cried, made memories, good memories. I think most people have those memories...they are good, they are necessary for sanity, they bring me to a happy place.
Keep reminiscing.
Monday, September 11, 2017
Blog Day 11
Give something away: a printable, a mini class, a tutorial you did on You Tube, or sound advice about something your readership might benefit from.
So I missed the last two days, no biggie. Just get back on the horse and ride on, my friend. So I don't have a printable or a class to give away, and I've never made a tutorial on You Tube (probably couldn't afford the camera), so maybe I can come up with some sound advice. Let's see...
When I was younger and just starting out working and starting my career, I didn't make lots of money. I always made enough to get by, but because I didn't have a college degree I didn't get top salaries. I had to struggle every month to make sure all the bills got paid. Oh, some months the PG&E bill didn't get paid until the following month, because I saw an outfit that I wanted to buy, so the bill was put on the back burner. Or maybe the phone bill got postponed for another month so I could take a weekend away someplace. Heaven forbid there was money to put into a "retirement" account. Thinking about age 65 back in my 20's was unheard of for me. I wouldn't seriously think of it for another 19 years or so.
By then I was raising my daughter as a single parent, had astronomical day care and commute expenses and really didn't have any extra monies to put into a 401K. At that time I worked for a company that matched what I put in, so I started with 2% of my salary going into an account. My thought was that if I didn't do it, I'd never have any money to retire. So you make adjustments and put that money away every month. The next year I bumped it up another percent, so 3% was going into my account. After a couple of years, the company automatically bumped it up a percent every January, assuming I would get a raise and could afford the bump. I didn't always get a raise, but I kept up with the increases, finally putting in 10% before I lost my job. The company matched my contributions by 6%, which was very generous (but they made huge profits which they didn't share with all the employees, only the "preferred" ones, of which I was not one, and didn't pay their employees the going rates, so this was a nice perk). After 24 years, my boss told me I didn't know how to do my job, put me on a 2 month performance plan, and told me every week what I did wrong...the only thing she told me I did right was plan the potlucks! So they covered their bases, wrote me up weekly, and one day slapped me in the face and showed me to the door. I was devastated. I filed for unemployment, which was nothing, looked for a replacement job (I was 61 years old) and struggled month to month not sure what was going to happen. Really, the vibe I got from everyone, including the unemployment office, was "who do you think is going to hire a 61 year old?", really.
I took my sister up on her offer to talk to her financial guy and look into retirement. I took all my information to him and we worked out a plan, and here I am retired. It could be better, I could have more money in my account, but I'm dealing. I am blessed to be where I am, but for the grace of God. My advice to anyone is to start saving as early as possible, don't wait. You never know what the future will hold, but you might as well agree it will be expensive. So the earlier you start saving for retirement, or anything else like an unexpected expense, sock that money away as soon as you can. It will relieve a lot of worrying and stress in the future, believe me.
Give something away: a printable, a mini class, a tutorial you did on You Tube, or sound advice about something your readership might benefit from.
So I missed the last two days, no biggie. Just get back on the horse and ride on, my friend. So I don't have a printable or a class to give away, and I've never made a tutorial on You Tube (probably couldn't afford the camera), so maybe I can come up with some sound advice. Let's see...
When I was younger and just starting out working and starting my career, I didn't make lots of money. I always made enough to get by, but because I didn't have a college degree I didn't get top salaries. I had to struggle every month to make sure all the bills got paid. Oh, some months the PG&E bill didn't get paid until the following month, because I saw an outfit that I wanted to buy, so the bill was put on the back burner. Or maybe the phone bill got postponed for another month so I could take a weekend away someplace. Heaven forbid there was money to put into a "retirement" account. Thinking about age 65 back in my 20's was unheard of for me. I wouldn't seriously think of it for another 19 years or so.
By then I was raising my daughter as a single parent, had astronomical day care and commute expenses and really didn't have any extra monies to put into a 401K. At that time I worked for a company that matched what I put in, so I started with 2% of my salary going into an account. My thought was that if I didn't do it, I'd never have any money to retire. So you make adjustments and put that money away every month. The next year I bumped it up another percent, so 3% was going into my account. After a couple of years, the company automatically bumped it up a percent every January, assuming I would get a raise and could afford the bump. I didn't always get a raise, but I kept up with the increases, finally putting in 10% before I lost my job. The company matched my contributions by 6%, which was very generous (but they made huge profits which they didn't share with all the employees, only the "preferred" ones, of which I was not one, and didn't pay their employees the going rates, so this was a nice perk). After 24 years, my boss told me I didn't know how to do my job, put me on a 2 month performance plan, and told me every week what I did wrong...the only thing she told me I did right was plan the potlucks! So they covered their bases, wrote me up weekly, and one day slapped me in the face and showed me to the door. I was devastated. I filed for unemployment, which was nothing, looked for a replacement job (I was 61 years old) and struggled month to month not sure what was going to happen. Really, the vibe I got from everyone, including the unemployment office, was "who do you think is going to hire a 61 year old?", really.
I took my sister up on her offer to talk to her financial guy and look into retirement. I took all my information to him and we worked out a plan, and here I am retired. It could be better, I could have more money in my account, but I'm dealing. I am blessed to be where I am, but for the grace of God. My advice to anyone is to start saving as early as possible, don't wait. You never know what the future will hold, but you might as well agree it will be expensive. So the earlier you start saving for retirement, or anything else like an unexpected expense, sock that money away as soon as you can. It will relieve a lot of worrying and stress in the future, believe me.
Friday, September 8, 2017
Blog Day 8
Today's Nudge: What do you do to foster joy? What's your version of "flinging glitter in the trenches"?
Hmmmm, well like Effy said, there is always something gloomy going on, hurricanes, earthquakes, too much rain, too hot, not enough money, road are too bumpy..always something. But I try to remember that even though everyone has trenches they have to go through, there is always something better once you get out of the trench. You get older and wiser, you learn to put up with the crap out there because that is easier than having to trunch through it, or deal with it. I mean you don't always have to get your hands dirty, you can just accept the way it is and leave it alone.
We all have good days and bad days. The thing is is that you have to get past it and on to something else, take your mind off it, get involved in something that doesn't scream "me, me, me". Go volunteer at a food bank or soup kitchen, go to a hospital and visit the elderly, offer to do something for your neighbor, get your mind off of you and put it on someone else. Try to make their day a little better. The pastor at my old church, he and his wife are always volunteering for things, offering to cook someone dinner, setting up for a craft fair in a town that isn't the one they live in, driving someone to a doctor's appointment. They are all about what people "should" be doing, doing something for someone else. I've done that at time, but not to the extent they do; they don't sit still for a minute hardly, always doing something for someone else.
I think that might be the key, but we all get there at different time hopefully. Just keep trying and make somebody else happy before you and that gets the ball rolling.
Today's Nudge: What do you do to foster joy? What's your version of "flinging glitter in the trenches"?
Hmmmm, well like Effy said, there is always something gloomy going on, hurricanes, earthquakes, too much rain, too hot, not enough money, road are too bumpy..always something. But I try to remember that even though everyone has trenches they have to go through, there is always something better once you get out of the trench. You get older and wiser, you learn to put up with the crap out there because that is easier than having to trunch through it, or deal with it. I mean you don't always have to get your hands dirty, you can just accept the way it is and leave it alone.
We all have good days and bad days. The thing is is that you have to get past it and on to something else, take your mind off it, get involved in something that doesn't scream "me, me, me". Go volunteer at a food bank or soup kitchen, go to a hospital and visit the elderly, offer to do something for your neighbor, get your mind off of you and put it on someone else. Try to make their day a little better. The pastor at my old church, he and his wife are always volunteering for things, offering to cook someone dinner, setting up for a craft fair in a town that isn't the one they live in, driving someone to a doctor's appointment. They are all about what people "should" be doing, doing something for someone else. I've done that at time, but not to the extent they do; they don't sit still for a minute hardly, always doing something for someone else.
I think that might be the key, but we all get there at different time hopefully. Just keep trying and make somebody else happy before you and that gets the ball rolling.
Thursday, September 7, 2017
Blog Day 7
Dump your mental and emotional purse all over the table that is your blog. Don't sort it, don't apologize for it. Just take an inventory, in list form, and let the old tissues and 20 year old mints fall where they may.
So I don't think I have any mental and emotional issues, 20 years old or not. I've pretty much resolved all my old issues...well, most of them. I still get a little irritated at my sister for being selfish about certain things. She's 14 years older than me, knew my mom well before my mom died (I was 3 and a half years old), has many sentimental things that were my mom's (and grandmother's) that she won't share, took my childhood dolls from me years ago saying they were hers first and she wanted them back, and kept harassing me until she got them, trying to make it easier by telling me she would give me one or two of them once she "restored" them. That was 35 years ago. She tried selling 5 of them at my brother, Gary's, estate sale, and when I saw them I said "You'd rather sell these than give me even one of them", and she didn't say anything.
Don't get me wrong, she's so giving in other ways. She shares holiday meals, lends money, offers support and comfort in down times, etc. etc., but with me we just have this "thing". I've always put her up on a pedistal, wanting to be like her. She married young, had 2 children, and got to stay home and be the mom and do the house thing. She made clothes from scratch, baked, cooked, kept her home nice, all the Martha Stewart things I always wanted to do. So I always looked up to her like a role model. But the doll thing set me straight. We are not rude to each other, call each other once a month or so, visit during holidays, etc. but she still has that "thing" where she just will not share certain things with me. Don't know why, don't really care any more, but it's still there.
My only other emotional thing is that there is not enough time to do all the things I want to do, and not enough money to go to all the places I want to go...other than that, I'm good.
In the process of organizing papers and embellishments...Whatamess!
Dump your mental and emotional purse all over the table that is your blog. Don't sort it, don't apologize for it. Just take an inventory, in list form, and let the old tissues and 20 year old mints fall where they may.
So I don't think I have any mental and emotional issues, 20 years old or not. I've pretty much resolved all my old issues...well, most of them. I still get a little irritated at my sister for being selfish about certain things. She's 14 years older than me, knew my mom well before my mom died (I was 3 and a half years old), has many sentimental things that were my mom's (and grandmother's) that she won't share, took my childhood dolls from me years ago saying they were hers first and she wanted them back, and kept harassing me until she got them, trying to make it easier by telling me she would give me one or two of them once she "restored" them. That was 35 years ago. She tried selling 5 of them at my brother, Gary's, estate sale, and when I saw them I said "You'd rather sell these than give me even one of them", and she didn't say anything.
Don't get me wrong, she's so giving in other ways. She shares holiday meals, lends money, offers support and comfort in down times, etc. etc., but with me we just have this "thing". I've always put her up on a pedistal, wanting to be like her. She married young, had 2 children, and got to stay home and be the mom and do the house thing. She made clothes from scratch, baked, cooked, kept her home nice, all the Martha Stewart things I always wanted to do. So I always looked up to her like a role model. But the doll thing set me straight. We are not rude to each other, call each other once a month or so, visit during holidays, etc. but she still has that "thing" where she just will not share certain things with me. Don't know why, don't really care any more, but it's still there.
My only other emotional thing is that there is not enough time to do all the things I want to do, and not enough money to go to all the places I want to go...other than that, I'm good.
In the process of organizing papers and embellishments...Whatamess!
Wednesday, September 6, 2017
Blog Day 6
Today's nudge: Write about your hometown, your roots, or where you come from.
I was born in Garberville, CA but when my mother died my father had 6 children (the 7th child already out on her own) to raise by himself. He moved us down to the San Francisco bay area, Martinez actually, and joined the IBEW electrical union where he made good money, and that's where my roots are. So many great childhood memories were had there. When the youngest 4 kids were kids, my dad hired a daytime nanny/housekeeper to make sure we were not alone during the day. She would make dinner, and when dad got home, we all sat down to eat, then he would take her home. On the weekends, after working a long week, my dad would come home, pack up the 4 of us, and take us camping. We'd go someplace a few hours away, drive off road (my dad hated being around other campers, and hated even more being in campgrounds) to find some out-of-the-way spot just for
us. We would sleep under the stars in our canvas sleeping bags, giggling, telling ghost stories, making smores, fishing, exploring. He'd pack us up and we'd go home Sunday, where he'd make us dinner, get the laundry on, and make us all take baths preparing for the next week ahead. If it was during the summer, we didn't have to get ready for school, but during school time, it was to bed by 9 p.m. No television on weeknights, no phone calls other than important ones, no being any place where he didn't know where we were. If it was a weekend we didn't go camping, on Sundays we would go to San Francisco to either the beach (looking for rocks as my dad was a rock hound), or the zoo, or Playland By the Beach, the best ever amusement park on San Francisco's ocean beach. What wonderful memories, Laughing Sal, the Fun House, the roller coaster, the hot dogs! Oh, my.
Back in those days, in the 60's, life was so much different. We could play outside until after dark and not worry. We could keep our front doors unlocked and our windows open and not have to worry about anyone coming around. We were so much freer then, doing things we wouldn't let our children even think about doing these days. We were not rich, but we were not poor. We didn't have a lot of toys; back in those days you made your own fun. You rode your bike or your skateboard or scooter, you played baseball, tag, or hide and seek. You built dirt forts, went swimming and explored the whole town. There wasn't anybody you didn't know.
My father raised us to "treat people the way you want to be treated". You treated everyone with respect, when you went visiting you sat still until you were spoken to, you did not ask for anything, but were allowed to take it if it was offered. You never smart mouthed anyone, and got backhanded if you did. You were spanked if you commented under your breath. With me being the only girl, my father was very old fashioned. In high school, I was not allowed to take drivers education (girls don't need to know how to drive, boys yet, girls no). No makeup, no nylons, no going anywhere after school but straight home and do your homework. No television on weeknights and to bed at 9 p.m. I think I went to one junior high school dance, and no high school dances. But you know what? I would not change a thing about how I was raised. I have respect for others, I have morals, principals and values, which seem to be lacking in many people these days. I usually think of the other person first before myself, and make sure everyone has fun and is treated correctly.
My family comes first and foremost, they are who have supported me my whole life, been there when I needed assistance, needed advice, needed a loan, needed work on my broken down car, needed help moving. Family is the life blood of my every day existence, something that I hope I will never have to live without. Family is who makes me what I am today, and I am very proud of that.
I have lived in Ukiah, CA for the past 6 months, and even though it is beginning to feel a bit like home, it will never be home like Martinez.
Today's nudge: Write about your hometown, your roots, or where you come from.
I was born in Garberville, CA but when my mother died my father had 6 children (the 7th child already out on her own) to raise by himself. He moved us down to the San Francisco bay area, Martinez actually, and joined the IBEW electrical union where he made good money, and that's where my roots are. So many great childhood memories were had there. When the youngest 4 kids were kids, my dad hired a daytime nanny/housekeeper to make sure we were not alone during the day. She would make dinner, and when dad got home, we all sat down to eat, then he would take her home. On the weekends, after working a long week, my dad would come home, pack up the 4 of us, and take us camping. We'd go someplace a few hours away, drive off road (my dad hated being around other campers, and hated even more being in campgrounds) to find some out-of-the-way spot just for
us. We would sleep under the stars in our canvas sleeping bags, giggling, telling ghost stories, making smores, fishing, exploring. He'd pack us up and we'd go home Sunday, where he'd make us dinner, get the laundry on, and make us all take baths preparing for the next week ahead. If it was during the summer, we didn't have to get ready for school, but during school time, it was to bed by 9 p.m. No television on weeknights, no phone calls other than important ones, no being any place where he didn't know where we were. If it was a weekend we didn't go camping, on Sundays we would go to San Francisco to either the beach (looking for rocks as my dad was a rock hound), or the zoo, or Playland By the Beach, the best ever amusement park on San Francisco's ocean beach. What wonderful memories, Laughing Sal, the Fun House, the roller coaster, the hot dogs! Oh, my.
Back in those days, in the 60's, life was so much different. We could play outside until after dark and not worry. We could keep our front doors unlocked and our windows open and not have to worry about anyone coming around. We were so much freer then, doing things we wouldn't let our children even think about doing these days. We were not rich, but we were not poor. We didn't have a lot of toys; back in those days you made your own fun. You rode your bike or your skateboard or scooter, you played baseball, tag, or hide and seek. You built dirt forts, went swimming and explored the whole town. There wasn't anybody you didn't know.
My father raised us to "treat people the way you want to be treated". You treated everyone with respect, when you went visiting you sat still until you were spoken to, you did not ask for anything, but were allowed to take it if it was offered. You never smart mouthed anyone, and got backhanded if you did. You were spanked if you commented under your breath. With me being the only girl, my father was very old fashioned. In high school, I was not allowed to take drivers education (girls don't need to know how to drive, boys yet, girls no). No makeup, no nylons, no going anywhere after school but straight home and do your homework. No television on weeknights and to bed at 9 p.m. I think I went to one junior high school dance, and no high school dances. But you know what? I would not change a thing about how I was raised. I have respect for others, I have morals, principals and values, which seem to be lacking in many people these days. I usually think of the other person first before myself, and make sure everyone has fun and is treated correctly.
My family comes first and foremost, they are who have supported me my whole life, been there when I needed assistance, needed advice, needed a loan, needed work on my broken down car, needed help moving. Family is the life blood of my every day existence, something that I hope I will never have to live without. Family is who makes me what I am today, and I am very proud of that.
I have lived in Ukiah, CA for the past 6 months, and even though it is beginning to feel a bit like home, it will never be home like Martinez.
Tuesday, September 5, 2017
Blog Day 5
TODAY’S NUDGE: What is something you struggle with? What battles are you fighting that most people know nothing about? What’s something about you or your life that makes you feel weird, or different, or isolated?
My struggle is with my weight. I've ALWYS been overweight. Never really taught how to eat right. My dad raised us after my mom died, and he was tall and slender, and all the boys were also (sister and older brother with weight issues were already out of the house when I was growing up). So they could all eat whatever they wanted. So when desserts came out, I got to eat also. My problem is mostly sweets, but I love all food. So over the years rather than taking off a few pounds, I just continued to eat what I wanted, never minding the weight gain. Now that I am 63, it bothers me, physically and mentally.
I've always been popular with most people, my weight never stopped me from doing things I wanted to do, but as I get older, it slows me down too much, and it doesn't seem to want to come off. I don't necessarily feel weird, or isolated, but definitely different. Although when you look at America today, so many of us are overweight. It's becoming a health issue, everyone has Type 2 diabetes (me as well). So that's my struggle.
TODAY’S NUDGE: What is something you struggle with? What battles are you fighting that most people know nothing about? What’s something about you or your life that makes you feel weird, or different, or isolated?
My struggle is with my weight. I've ALWYS been overweight. Never really taught how to eat right. My dad raised us after my mom died, and he was tall and slender, and all the boys were also (sister and older brother with weight issues were already out of the house when I was growing up). So they could all eat whatever they wanted. So when desserts came out, I got to eat also. My problem is mostly sweets, but I love all food. So over the years rather than taking off a few pounds, I just continued to eat what I wanted, never minding the weight gain. Now that I am 63, it bothers me, physically and mentally.
I've always been popular with most people, my weight never stopped me from doing things I wanted to do, but as I get older, it slows me down too much, and it doesn't seem to want to come off. I don't necessarily feel weird, or isolated, but definitely different. Although when you look at America today, so many of us are overweight. It's becoming a health issue, everyone has Type 2 diabetes (me as well). So that's my struggle.
Monday, September 4, 2017
Blog Day 4
I've already missed 2 days, but no biggie...just keep going. Yesterday was hot again, 107 degrees. Nettie, Aria and Zoe came over in the morning (11 a.m.) to go through some garage boxes of stuff we still have not unpacked. Nettie wants to get a handle on all her pots, get some sold, get some ready for our craft fair. So I brought in a couple boxes to unpack, brought in another sleeping bag to wash from our trip to Yosemite, and I was just dripping in sweat. I made chicken salad and watermelon for lunch...after a couple hours of them being here, they left to go home, then they came back for dinner. Even though it was hot, I made (baked) ribs, corn on the cob, pasta, and watermelon. Zoe was asleep the whole time, then decided to cause a ruckus, so off to their home they went.
Zoe is starting to be a little more animated, smiley faces, looking at you more and more, focusing those big, blue eyes. She's only 2 months old, but she's such a cutie pie already. Can't wait for everyone to meet her. That probably won't happen until the end of September. Scott is on call alternating weekends, so end of the month hopefully will work. We will take Zoe down to the bay area to a park somewhere and have everyone come for a "meet and greet". Should be fun.
What really stresses me out? and how do I keep going...well, there are a few things that stress me out, but the older I get, the less stressed I get. I realize that it's not worth getting stressed over any longer. I am retired, so the commute doesn't stress me out any more (thank goodness), and the stress of the job or the crappy boss doesn't stress me out any more. Whether the house is clean certainly doesn't stress me out any more, even if somebody will be visiting. All I need to make sure of is that the bathroom is clean and there are clean sheets on the bed if they are planning on using the spare bedroom. About the only thing that has stressed me out this year is getting ready for craft shows. Making sure that I have enough goods to sell. Whether they are the "right" thing people want to buy, is not on the table. You cannot predict what people are going to want to buy, so you must make what you make and hope that it sells, so that doesn't stress me anymore. Other than that, I really try to not stress anymore. It just is not worth it, the tole it takes on my system and nerves. That realization has come with age, and determining just what really is important and what is not important. Age certainly does factor in to much of how I arrange my day, and stress is definitely not included in the plans.
I did finish Leigh's Haunted Houses and got them delivered to her yesterday, so check one item off the To Do list...
I've already missed 2 days, but no biggie...just keep going. Yesterday was hot again, 107 degrees. Nettie, Aria and Zoe came over in the morning (11 a.m.) to go through some garage boxes of stuff we still have not unpacked. Nettie wants to get a handle on all her pots, get some sold, get some ready for our craft fair. So I brought in a couple boxes to unpack, brought in another sleeping bag to wash from our trip to Yosemite, and I was just dripping in sweat. I made chicken salad and watermelon for lunch...after a couple hours of them being here, they left to go home, then they came back for dinner. Even though it was hot, I made (baked) ribs, corn on the cob, pasta, and watermelon. Zoe was asleep the whole time, then decided to cause a ruckus, so off to their home they went.
Zoe is starting to be a little more animated, smiley faces, looking at you more and more, focusing those big, blue eyes. She's only 2 months old, but she's such a cutie pie already. Can't wait for everyone to meet her. That probably won't happen until the end of September. Scott is on call alternating weekends, so end of the month hopefully will work. We will take Zoe down to the bay area to a park somewhere and have everyone come for a "meet and greet". Should be fun.
What really stresses me out? and how do I keep going...well, there are a few things that stress me out, but the older I get, the less stressed I get. I realize that it's not worth getting stressed over any longer. I am retired, so the commute doesn't stress me out any more (thank goodness), and the stress of the job or the crappy boss doesn't stress me out any more. Whether the house is clean certainly doesn't stress me out any more, even if somebody will be visiting. All I need to make sure of is that the bathroom is clean and there are clean sheets on the bed if they are planning on using the spare bedroom. About the only thing that has stressed me out this year is getting ready for craft shows. Making sure that I have enough goods to sell. Whether they are the "right" thing people want to buy, is not on the table. You cannot predict what people are going to want to buy, so you must make what you make and hope that it sells, so that doesn't stress me anymore. Other than that, I really try to not stress anymore. It just is not worth it, the tole it takes on my system and nerves. That realization has come with age, and determining just what really is important and what is not important. Age certainly does factor in to much of how I arrange my day, and stress is definitely not included in the plans.
I did finish Leigh's Haunted Houses and got them delivered to her yesterday, so check one item off the To Do list...
Saturday, September 2, 2017
September Already
Here we are Saturday, September 2, 2017 and I cannot believe it is already September. This year has gone by way to quickly, with still so much I want to accomplish. I have joined a group with Effie Wild (http://effywild.com) to blog daily for 30 days. So I'll give it a try.
Where am I...I'm currently in a mess. My craft room is upended. I just finished a couple of craft fairs with my handmade photo albums, cards and altered dominoes. I was not able to physically be at the last craft show, so a couple of friends sold my stuff for me, and low and behold I made all my income from dominoes and cards. Not a book sold. I was surprised the dominoes were so popular, that there you go. So I'm in the process of restocking all my finished goodies for the next craft show (Pumpkin Fest in Ukiah, CA on October 22-22, 2017). Ever since I returned from Yosemite 2 weeks ago, I have not had much energy. And on top of that, it has been HOT, HOT, HOT, over 105 for a few days now. And you all know how much energy I have when it is hot...NOT A BIT!
Last week I drove down to the bay area (Martinez) as I had 2 doctor appointments and one dental appointment, all in one day. I left home at 8 on the dot, and at 8:05 unbeknownst to me, my first doctor appointment called and cancelled. So I didn't know until I arrived at the office that it had been cancelled...on to the second appointment, which was my bi-annual (yuck) pap smear. That went well, then a couple hours to kill before the dreaded dental appointment. So I headed to Michael's to check out the Halloween goodies, then to lunch at BJ's, then to the dentist. I was in the chair for 2.5 hours and was exhausted afterward. Headed for the bridge to go home, and it took me 20 minutes to go a couple of blocks. So I called my brother and sister-in-law and asked them to meet me for dinner to kill an hour before hitting the road. That worked out fine, went to my fav mexican restaurant (Cinco de Mayo in Martinez), ate and visited with them, then headed home at 6:40. Arrived 2 hours later in Ukiah.
I hope to get a little more organized so that I can be artsy every day. I am retired and still have not totally unpacked all my boxes since moving here in February, but I want to get back to my altered art journaling daily, and just being all around artsy. I need to find a few friends here who are like minded, that might prompt me to be a little more active. But I need to get painting and creative...I'll get there, I'm sure.
Just a little picture of the coffin I am working on with a little paper album to go in it...
Anyway, see you tomorrow.
Here we are Saturday, September 2, 2017 and I cannot believe it is already September. This year has gone by way to quickly, with still so much I want to accomplish. I have joined a group with Effie Wild (http://effywild.com) to blog daily for 30 days. So I'll give it a try.
Where am I...I'm currently in a mess. My craft room is upended. I just finished a couple of craft fairs with my handmade photo albums, cards and altered dominoes. I was not able to physically be at the last craft show, so a couple of friends sold my stuff for me, and low and behold I made all my income from dominoes and cards. Not a book sold. I was surprised the dominoes were so popular, that there you go. So I'm in the process of restocking all my finished goodies for the next craft show (Pumpkin Fest in Ukiah, CA on October 22-22, 2017). Ever since I returned from Yosemite 2 weeks ago, I have not had much energy. And on top of that, it has been HOT, HOT, HOT, over 105 for a few days now. And you all know how much energy I have when it is hot...NOT A BIT!
Last week I drove down to the bay area (Martinez) as I had 2 doctor appointments and one dental appointment, all in one day. I left home at 8 on the dot, and at 8:05 unbeknownst to me, my first doctor appointment called and cancelled. So I didn't know until I arrived at the office that it had been cancelled...on to the second appointment, which was my bi-annual (yuck) pap smear. That went well, then a couple hours to kill before the dreaded dental appointment. So I headed to Michael's to check out the Halloween goodies, then to lunch at BJ's, then to the dentist. I was in the chair for 2.5 hours and was exhausted afterward. Headed for the bridge to go home, and it took me 20 minutes to go a couple of blocks. So I called my brother and sister-in-law and asked them to meet me for dinner to kill an hour before hitting the road. That worked out fine, went to my fav mexican restaurant (Cinco de Mayo in Martinez), ate and visited with them, then headed home at 6:40. Arrived 2 hours later in Ukiah.
I hope to get a little more organized so that I can be artsy every day. I am retired and still have not totally unpacked all my boxes since moving here in February, but I want to get back to my altered art journaling daily, and just being all around artsy. I need to find a few friends here who are like minded, that might prompt me to be a little more active. But I need to get painting and creative...I'll get there, I'm sure.
Just a little picture of the coffin I am working on with a little paper album to go in it...
Anyway, see you tomorrow.
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